Why does my QuickBooks CSV open as two columns of junk?

Because the first line of the file is the company name, not the headings, and every reader takes the first line as the headings. In the editor here, untick First row is headings, delete the title lines above the real heading row, and download; the file then reads normally everywhere.

Which rows are the subtotals?

The ones with no date: a group header holds only a name, and a subtotal row holds a name beginning Total and an amount. Keeping only rows with a date leaves the transactions.

Will the amounts in parentheses be read as negative?

Not silently. They stay as the text QuickBooks wrote; the SQL console can turn (1,234.56) into -1234.56 with one expression when you total them, and you can see it happen.

Can I keep the file as a workbook?

Convert it to CSV here, make the edits, and convert back with the CSV to Excel tool, which writes every value as a text cell. The title block is not something Excel needs to see again.

Does deleting the rows change anything else in the file?

No. The editor writes back the original bytes for every row you did not touch, so quoting, line endings and the values themselves are exactly as exported.

Is my export uploaded anywhere?

No. The title lines are deleted in the editor on your own machine, and the report — customers, amounts and all — is written back there. Turn your network off and the whole edit still works.

All guides

The QuickBooks report export: title lines above the heading, subtotal rows, and getting a plain table

A report exported from QuickBooks is laid out like the printed report: the company name, the report title and the date range on the first lines, then the column headings, then the rows grouped under account or customer names with a subtotal after each group and a total at the end. Every CSV reader takes the first line as the headings, so the file reads as a two-column table of nonsense until the lines above the heading are gone. The editor here deletes them, and the rest follows.

What the export looks like

The first three or four lines are the report’s title block, one value per line, and then a blank line; the headings come after that. Within the data, a group opens with a row holding only the account or customer name, its transactions follow, and a row reading Total for that name closes it, with a grand total row at the bottom. Amounts may carry thousands separators and show negatives in parentheses, and the date column is blank on the subtotal rows.

List exports — customers, vendors, products — do not have this shape: they are plain tables and read cleanly everywhere. It is the report exports that need the treatment below.

Strip the title block

Open the file in the editor here and untick "First row is headings" before doing anything else — until you do, the editor takes the first line as the headings, and here that line is the company name. With it unticked every line is a row: delete the title lines and the blank line under them, leave the toggle off, and download. Nothing else in the file changes — the editor writes back only the rows you touched, with the original quoting and line endings — and the health check will confirm the result reads as one table with a consistent number of columns.

If the file arrived as an Excel workbook rather than a CSV, run it through the Excel converter first; the title block comes across in the same place and the same edit removes it.

Then the subtotal rows

With the headings in place, the subtotal and total rows are the ones with no date. The filter tool keeps only the rows where the date column is filled, which drops the group headers and the totals in one rule and leaves the transactions. For a total by account after that, the SQL console groups the rows itself and does not need QuickBooks’s subtotals at all.

Amounts stay as written throughout — (1,234.56) stays as text until you choose to convert it, so nothing is silently misread as a positive number.

Questions

Why does my QuickBooks CSV open as two columns of junk?: Because the first line of the file is the company name, not the headings, and every reader takes the first line as the headings. In the editor here, untick First row is headings, delete the title lines above the real heading row, and download; the file then reads normally everywhere.
Which rows are the subtotals?: The ones with no date: a group header holds only a name, and a subtotal row holds a name beginning Total and an amount. Keeping only rows with a date leaves the transactions.
Will the amounts in parentheses be read as negative?: Not silently. They stay as the text QuickBooks wrote; the SQL console can turn (1,234.56) into -1234.56 with one expression when you total them, and you can see it happen.
Can I keep the file as a workbook?: Convert it to CSV here, make the edits, and convert back with the CSV to Excel tool, which writes every value as a text cell. The title block is not something Excel needs to see again.
Does deleting the rows change anything else in the file?: No. The editor writes back the original bytes for every row you did not touch, so quoting, line endings and the values themselves are exactly as exported.
Is my export uploaded anywhere?: No. The title lines are deleted in the editor on your own machine, and the report — customers, amounts and all — is written back there. Turn your network off and the whole edit still works.